I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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