I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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