butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Randomize
