the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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