his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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