Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
