She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
