i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I got her a Nickelback box set.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
