I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
