He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
