the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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