I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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