Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I have aggressive nipples.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
