i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
