is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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