Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
