So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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