I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
