After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
