but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
