i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
