TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
