I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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