I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
