It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
