my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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