I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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