I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
