It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
