You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My dick has a subreddit
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
