if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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