Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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