Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
