i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
