she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
