clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
