Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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