Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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