508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
