I puked a lego.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
