Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
