mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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