She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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