do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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