The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
