So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
