he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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