also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
