apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
