I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
