Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
