Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Randomize
